Comfortably Numb??

"Ok.....Ok....Ok....Just a little pinprick.
There'll be no more .....Aaaaaahhhhh!
But you may feel a little sick."

These words echoed in my mind all day long. Infact, all week long and maybe longer than that. I guess that it has been there ever since i made the appointment with the doctor. There was no way out and i had to get this check up done. I have had a huge fear of needles as long as i can remember and i have also passed out on few ocassions even before an injection was administered. I didnt know what to expect this time. Phew... i was glad when the doctor said that he would not need to use a syringe and draw blood. Just a little pin prick. Thats all that was needed. Just one single drop of blood was needed. I have never been more happier to part with my blood than on this occasion. In the end, it was just a pin prick. There was no Aaaaaahhhhhh.
I was glad to get out of there.

Insomnia and the Big Hole in my Universe

It was way past 1:00am and sleep was the last thing on my mind. My heart was racing and i was sitting in front of the computer waiting for the phone to ring. What was the outcome? Did she make it? Did she not? I needed answers and i needed it now, obviously they didnt come by. I decided to stay awake longer and push myself and now the time was 3:00am. The phone still didnt ring. Was something wrong with it? I checked it for the hundredth time. I knew it was working fine but it was my insecurity that made me confirm it again and again. My heart was still racing but deep inside i knew that when the phone finally rang, i would hear exactly what i wanted to hear. I was certain about that. Then why was i so nervous? Did my subconscious know that i will be hearing something that i didnt want to? Was this some sort of struggle between me and my self?
Only i know how badly i wanted to have my sunshine with me, and if the interview went well today for her, then she would be with me in a few months. That would help me ease through my course without any pressure. I must mention that the pressure comes from me and not anyone else. I bring it upon my self. I have been building castles for far too long. Real huge ones. Not once did i imagine that one day that it could come crashing down. How could it? This was my world that i shared with my sunshine and it was our perfect world. How could things go wrong?
The time is 3:30 am. The phone rings. Suddenly im too scared to pick up the phone and so i let it ring longer. Oh why should i be scared? Wasnt i sure that i was gonna hear that she cracked the interview? Wasnt those the words that i so wanted to hear and sure that i was going to? Pick up the phone u chicken....!! I decide to put my fear aside and pick up.
I dont remember how long the conversation lasted. I dont rememeber saying much or being able to say much. The words i heard kept on ringing inside my head. What happeend to those words i was supposed to hear? The conversation went on, and i kept waiting for her to say those magic words, "I was Kidding sweetheart, i got through". It never came. My heart stopped racing. What was it racing for now? The castle that i was building in my universe suddenly disappeared. Like it wasnt even there in the first place. All that is left now is a big hole in my universe.