Crash/Touch

These days we are so devoid of touch. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.
These were the lines that ring out at the begining of the movie "Crash". I admit that i missed it the first time and paid no attention to it. I heard it again and realized that i had missed the most important line in the movie. How true. It makes so much sense to me. I do miss the touch right now. I dont remember the last time i was touched by someone. I have forgotten what the human skin feels like. But, i dont feel like i am behind metal and glass. Its not me, its people who are around me who are behind metal and glass. We have become so comfortable inside our own bubble and space that some of us dont need that touch anymore. We have forgotten what it feel like, so it dosent matter right? It does matter a lot to me. I need that touch, the assurance that someone is there, the assurance that the world is not a bad place after all, the assurance that we are still alive. When was the last time i felt that way? More than two years ago. When was the last time you felt that way? I bet you dont remember. I want to touch, i want to hold, i want to hug. I want to put my arms around a girl or just give a friendly pat on the back without being accused of sexual hassasment. I want to put my arms around my buddies without them questioning my sexuality. I need that touch and so do you. Dont you get it???
Somewhere out there, a little boy cant jump into bed with his own mother. Somewhere out there, a father can no longer play with his daughter on his lap. Evan santa clause wont be having little kids on his lap anymore. If only we crashed more often.

The Madcap Laughs

Syd Barrett: 1946-2006

"Shine On you Crazy Diamond"

For those of you who were into rock n' roll way back in the days will need no introduction to the madcap. Sometimes i feel that too much has been said about him and yet there are times when i feel that not much has been said about him. Syd was one of the founding members of the legendary Pink Floyd and he was responsible for almost all of the early floyd tunes. It was no secret that he was heavily influenced by LSD and when he had less control over his actions on stage, Gilmour was brought into the band. Syd began to have less and less of a role. Gilmour began to take over the music and Waters took care of the lyrics. Syd would be so lost that sometimes he would strum one single note on his guitar and stay that way through out the whole concert, while the rest of the band kept playing. Its came to a point where Syd had to leave the band and he soon moved into a quiet home in Cambrigde, England, where he remained till his last days. Not many people knew about where Syd was after he left Floyd, but his former bandmates always watched out for him and checked on him often. Floyd recorded many albums and most of them had references to Syd. "Shine on you Crazy Diamond" "Brain Damage" "Wish you were Here" and even the ever famous "Comfortably numb" can be well related to Syd and this just goes to show how much of an influence he was to Floyd and how much his presence was missed by rest of the band. Waters and Gilmour split ways but they both always remembered Syd through their songs and concerts. Who can ever forget the "In The Flesh" tour of waters where the huge backdrop flashed images of Syd while the band belted out "Shine on you Crazy Diamond". Syd passed away a few days ago in his quiet home in Cambridge. Syd the person may have left us, like we all have to do some day, but Syd the spirit still remains and always will till the end of time. There is no doubt about that. It is impossible for us to just ignore the madcap and walk on.

Pile on many more layers, and ill be joining you there.

Shine on you Crazy Diamond.

See You On The Other Side

You were there, the day that i arrived,

You were eager to see me, as much as anyone else,

I was the one to give you your first taste of grandparenting.

You took me in your arms quickly,

You were responsible for the first breath that i took,

I had made my late but grand entrance.

You were a part of each day of my growth for a few years,

You made sure that nothing went wrong,

I turned out alright, thanks to you.

You wished that i would always be with you,

You missed me when we moved away,

I missed you too.

You looked forward to the time when i would come to you,

You waited eagerly every year,

I never disappointed you. I always came.

You cooked the best food for me each time i came,

You really are the best cook in the world,

I can never forget any of your dishes.

You taught me a lot in life in different ways,

You just let me be me,

I am greatful for that.

You promised that you would be there for my children.

You broke that promise, but i know you had to.

I understand. Some things just have to be done.

You joked and laughed with me the last time we spoke, but,

You didnt say goodbye and you didnt give me a chance to say it,

I understand again, because i know I'll see you once more,

I'll See you on the other side.

For my Granny: 1930-2006
"You will be missed much"

So you think you can dance?

Dance? Oh please. Thats one thing you wont catch me dead doing. I dont hate dancing and i have nothing against it. In fact, dancing is something that i wish i could do. I wish i had the guts to do it. Its more or less like the sour grapes story. Yeah, i cant do it, so it must suck big time and its no good and no fun. Timing was never a problem for me. I just cant go wrong with timing, then where exactly do i screw up? My first experience at dancing was with some female friends, many years ago. It was at a dicso, and i would hardly call that dancing. Its more like throwing yourself around and creating some movement, that does not necessarily have to match with the music that is being blasted. But what the hell, i was there to impress those women. We all know women love men who can dance. At least most of them. By the way, i never heard back from those women again. Thankfully my close friends were not a witness to my acts. However that was not the case three years ago. Went to a disco in Bangalore. Had a few drinks and i was on the dance floor. No, i was not trying to impress anyone, but someone did get impressed and she is now a part of my life. Im sure it was not the dancing. According to my friends who were with me, i made an ass out of myself, trying to dance. I got the tag of "Dance Master" and the whole incident was a joke that went around for a long time. I think that it still is. Two years ago i saw the movie Shall we Dance. Now, i never had a love affair with dancing but something about that movie kept calling out to me. I told myself that it was just JLo's behinds that attracted me, but thats denial. I forgot about it for a while and it never came up, until two weeks ago. A friend of mine at the counseling center started a salsa class. Not just simple salsa dancing, but it explores therapeutic ways through which couples can improve their intimacy and relationship, through dancing. All my friends signed up for it and they are enjoying it. Some tried to convince me to sign up. My answer was a straight out NO. Yesterday i had a chat with my friend who is doing the whole thing. Ten minutes with him, and he had me. To be honest, he almost convinced me to sign up. So, eventually will i sign up or not? I dont really know. I am being pulled from both sides within me. One thing is for sure. To do one good dance is surely on my list of things to do before i die.