It was an experience that would leave a huge impact on me. A lasting impression would be a more correct word. How exactly i feel i dont really know. How exactly those kids feel i probably would never know but i now wish that sometimes we had the innocence that those little ones had.
Camp Healing Tree - was a three day camp for children who had lost someone in their family recently. Ages seven to seventeen were present. I had eight lovely kids in my group, ages 9 and 10. To be honest i first signed up for this camp because of the credit that i would get which would take me a few steps closer to graduating. My purpose changed on the first day. I had never worked much with kids before and i was not really sure how i would handle them. I did not want to end up looking like one of those sad teachers we had in school whom we all took advantage of. My God..!! Was it all coming back to me? Was it pay back time, for all the pain i caused my teachers back in school? My experience was far from what i had expected. Those kids amazed me. Those kids got me hooked on to them with the first hug they gave me. One smile and a hug and i was in love with them. The best thing about children is that they are so genuine. Without a doubt you know that their hug and affection came from their heart. The same goes for every emotion they express. The number one rule for the camp was that no one should be forced to share anything. They can pass if they want to. There was one kid who passed every activity. He hardly said a word the whole three days. There was absolutely no expression from his side. There was one kid who was explaining how his sister who was five years old went to sleep one night and did not wake up the next day. He said that if she was still around, she would have lost a few teeth just like him. She was his best friend. How do i run a group and control my emotions when i hear something like that? My eyes filled up. How those tears stayed in place, i dont know, but it was no easy task. The task became more difficult when another boy passed around a toy car that he and his dad had made out of wood. They were supposed to paint it with the colors of Jeff Gordon, but the car still remains unfinished. He wants to paint it someday, but its not the same without dad. He hopes to take the finished car and place it at the grave someday. My voice kept cracking and it was difficult to see properly through my wet eyes. The next boy who was sharing said that there was a real loud bang that woke him up. he did not know what it was. He went back to sleep only to be woken up by his mother a few minutes later to hear that his father has shot himself with a gun. 
He still has no idea why his father did that. He does not understand it properly. He says that there were times when he has wondered if his father did it because he was a bad boy.
I can go on about the stories that those little angels had to share. It amazed me to see how easily they shared their stories. I guess it becomes easy when you are with others who also face the same problems. This camp surely helped them open up. However it was not all about grieving. The kids did have their mix of fun. Magic shows, puppet shows, campfire, animal show, swimming, kickball, basketball and some yummy food gave them a healthy balance.
Saying goodbye or letting go can be a really hard thing to do even for them. The kids were made to write love notes to their dead relative, on bio degradable paper, which was inserted into a small box, shaped as a heart, that was fixed to the ground. It was explained to them that these notes would mix and become one with the earth, just like their loved one. Shouting or screaming real loud can be another way to let our emotions. They were encouraged to think of their loved one and scream as loud as they can as a group, on the count of three. A good way to let out some anger that they have. The last ceremony was the release of balloons into the sky. The kids parents joined them on the last day for this last ritual. Each one had a balloon and they were free to write a message to their loved one who had died. Everyone released the balloons together. As the balloons rose gently and floated away, there was a sense of calm and peace. It was as if a lot of sadness and grief had floated away with those balloons.
Would i do this camp again? No doubts i would. This time not for the credit, but for the valuable experience i gained. I also wondered if after having spent three days with eight kids, i was able to leave an impact on any of them. My question was answered when the campers were leaving. A few of them came to me and hugged me. One kid came back and hugged me again. I sure did touch their lives and was a part of their healing. My most happiest moment was when we were resting after most of the campers had gone, or were going. I felt a small tap on my back. I turn back and who do i see? Remember the kid who never said a single word and never expressed any emotions? I turn around and look at him. He does not say a single word, instead just opens his arms wide and gives me a hug and just turns around and walks away. Those little ones just make life worth it.....!!!
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