My Dad and I

From as far back as I can remember, I never had a relationship with my dad, where we could sit and talk for hours. I was never able to share anything with him. I was never able to laugh and joke with him. For some weird reason, I always believed that he never understood my point of view and that he was all out to contradict me on anything I ever said or did. I assume this feeling came from the time when he expressed his displeasure at me having long hair or even having a funky beard. He never let me grow it my way, and from then on, I felt that we would disagree on almost everything.

Honestly I never looked forward to going home and being with him. The only reason I would go home would be because I got to eat some good food, and maybe even spend a few days, doing nothing. During those few days, our conversation was minimal. I prefered sitting in front of the TV, rather than talking to him. The very few talks we have had would be when we sit down at night for prayer before bed. Mostly these conversations had something to do with religion and God etc. It's not that I dont believe, but it's just that I believe something so different from what he believes. To avoid a conflict, I never contradicted him or argued against what he said. I learnt to nod my head and let it pass like a meaningless conversation. Afterall, he would never understand my point of view. I see him as this narrow minded person, who has not changed with the time, and refuses to acknowledge the fact that some others have indeed moved on with the times and have created a whole new perspective on things. This pretty much sums up the conversations I would have had with my dad, for the last 28 years.

When I came back from the USA few weeks ago, I was really looking forward to spending time with friends. Going home and staying with dad was the last thing on my mind. I do feel a little guilty about the fact that I am no longer excited to see my father, and that I prefer the company of friends to my family. But anyway, I did eventually go home. Things were kind of different this time. For some odd reason, I noticed that we were begining to have some meaningful conversations. We began to talk things that we both knew. That surprised me. Never in a million years did I ever assume that one day, my dad nd I would have something common that we could talk about and agree. We started discussing clients, their problems and solutions. He was eager to know about the kinds of clients I treated, and he was equally eager to share about his experiences with his clients and he was even asking me for opinions and treatment plans that he could implement with his clients. We discussed various theories that we use and how effective it would be and so on. There were few points we did disagree on, but this time I think that we both disagreed and yet respected the other persons point of view. As the days went by, I actually began to not mind staying at home for so long. It was ok. It wasnt so bad, and my dad was not a stuck up boring person afterall.

It took us 28 years to find something common that we share. Im glad we did. In the years to come, we may or may not find more things in common. We may agree or disagree on so many things, but this time we both have a new level of respect for what the other one believes, and I believe that this makes all the difference. It feels as if a new phase in our relationship has just been kick started.

Life's Greatest Journies Are The Ones That Take You Home

I left India during mid 2004. I remember the struggle I went through to be able to get a visa. It took me close to a year and a half, which i wasted sitting at home, in the hope that I would get a visa soon. After undergoing few rejections, I finally got my visa. In 2004 , I was off to a strange land, for some serious education. I remember that I reached there a week late, which meant that classes had already started. I did not have a transition period and it was pretty much like stepping out of the plane and into a class room. The first class i ever took was "Intro to Old Testament." Since it was a christian college, even the counseling students were required to take 4 theology classes. So this was my first, and probably the worst. I struggled with the requirements of the teacher. I struggled to keep pace with the required reading. I ended up with my worst grade(C+) during the last 4 years. I thought that all my classes were going to be that way, but I was wrong. Everything else was an easy flow. I remember walking in to the main building and thinking about the 4 years that lay in front of me. I remember thinking that I would never finish.

The last 4 years have made me change a lot. I have changed as a person. I have grown intellectually, theoretically and in so many different ways. My theology has changed over the last few years, but that's another post all by itself. I see that I sometimes carry the attitude that I know too much. This sometimes comes back to bite me. I have learnt to not judge anyone. I can boast that i do this pretty well now. I am now able to accept someone as they are, irrespective of their faith, belief, sexual orientation, attitude and what not. I feel good about this and it sometimes makes me mad to see people being judgemental.

Starting practicum was another milestone. I learnt a heck of a lot from my clients, than they would have learnt from me. I would not be who I am now if not for them. I learnt a lot for the hours and hours of supervision I received. I have grumbled and whined about the supervisory groups and sessions we had to attend at the crack of dawn. All said and done, I am glad I never gave up and instead went through with it. I could not imagine where I would be if I had not gone through all that. I really am thankful that I made a handful of awesome friends. Making close friends is a hard task in USA and I am glad it happened, even though it was towards the end. You guys know who you are and I will never ever forget you.

As I sit back and relax at home in Kottayam, I cant help but feel proud that I made it. This is probably the greatest accomplishment of my life till date. Apart from this, I also feel a little lost. I was at this same place 4 years ago, and now I am back at the same spot. I feel like I never left and sometimes I feel like the 4 years in between got erased somehow. I feel like I am back to square one. I know that this feeling will change once I start working and getting into the thick of things.

All said and done, I see the last four years as a journey. A journey back home. My return journey started the day I landed in USA and since then, every day was a countdown. I don't know what lies in store for me. I don't know what kind of job I am going to find. Right now I am not worrying about that. i am just going to relax at home and take some time off. Hopefully I would be ready to start job hunting by February. I am sure that things will fall into place. They always have fallen into place, all through my life. Funny.

Twisted Spoons

I wanted to post this way before, but never found the time due to all the travelling etc. Three of us: Orange Fling, Nags and I, started a new blog, which is of course related to food. This is not a cooking blog, but instead it is a platform where we hope to review the restaurants we eat at. Since the three of us eat out a lot, I feel that we have a lot to review. We would cover Bangalore, Hyderabad and Chennai initially, since we live in these respective places.

Obviously our views and opinions are not the gospel, but this is purely based on our taste and experience. We just got started, and by the end of this month I hope we can have more posts coming up more often. I sincerely hope the readers find out reviews helpful and maybe even help them make a decision when it comes to eating out. So please click here, and make this a success.

Something Fun I Did

The two and a half weeks I spend in Florida was good. It was great to get away from the cold weather and also have a change on scenery. Through out the duration of my stay, I was staying on a train. Yes, it was the circus train, that belonged to Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey. The train is 62 cars long and stretches for more than a mile. It has rooms and small apartments for all the staff, workers and every employee. It also houses all the animals. This was not my first time. I had stayed on the train many times before, but this time I got to do something more fun. The animals are usually kept near the train yard and are transported to a rail link closest to the arena where they perform. I got the chance to go along on one such trip where they were moving the elephants.

First the stock cars that carry the elephants are coupled together and assembled on a loop line. The pic above shows four stock cars that have been brought to a loop line next to an access path. By nightfall, the elephants are walked from the field to the train yard and loaded into the cars. In this case, there were six elephants being moved and each coach would carry two. Once they are loaded, they spend the night in the cars. Their care takers stay with them through the night. The inside of the coaches are well equipped with air conditioners and water sprinklers, so that the animals remain cool and in good health.

In the morning, an EMD SD40 locomotive belonging to CSX attaches its self to one end. A caboose is also attached to the other end. I jumped into the rear coach, which had two elephants. Even before the train started, the coach was swaying heavily due to the movement of the elephants. I was nervous at first and thought that if they moved any harder, we would tumble over. I kept reminding myself that this process has been happening every week for years and the people knew what they were doing. The EMD blows its horn and we start moving very gently. The journey time to downtown is 15 minutes and once we exited the yard and hit the straight stretch, the speed was maintained at close to 30mph.

In 15 minutes we reach the Amtrak terminal in Tampa and are put on a loop line. We wait there for close to an hour for the animal escorts to arrive and also for the police to clear the roads and form the convoy, that will lead the animals as they walk from the train to the arena which is a few short miles away. Before the doors open, the ramps are fixed to the doors. One by one the mighty beasts are let out into the open. They looked real excited to be outside after spending a whole night inside the coach. The trainers and masters soon lead them away from the train and towards the arena where they will perform. When it is time for the circus to leave town, the same process will happen in reverse. They are brought back to the same spot, loaded and taken back to the yard. This time they will not be taken off, but instead their coach will be attached to the rest of the train. Once all the 62 coaches have been coupled together, it's time for the circus to leave town and head out to a new city, where the same process repeats.

Living and travelling in the train can seem like fun, but I have heard that it starts getting to you after a year. For an occasional visitor like me, it can seem like fun. There are rooms of various sizes. Some rooms are real small, with just a bed and a cooking area. Some are slightly bigger with an attached bath. The biggest ones can occupy a full coach and has most of the things you would find in any normal apartment. The pic above is of the place I stayed in. We enter from the far left, which is the kitchen area, with the usual stove, dishwasher, microwave, fridge etc. Opposite that there is a small dining table. The couch and the TV shelf make up the living room. Towards the right of the pic, there is the bathroom and toilet and after that you find the bed room. The vestibule can be used as a small sit out. Once you are inside, you tend to forget that you are indeed inside a train. You feel like it is any other apartment. It is only when the train starts moving that you realize that you are inside a train