The Dining Table

They say breakfast has to be the biggest meal you have on a normal day but that has never been the case for me. It was always dinner. The best meat was saved for dinner and most of the fine culinary creations were always during dinner time. This also came to be the time when we always sat down together as a family, once we were all done with our busy schedules.

Since we always moved around so much, we never had any furniture of our own. However we had a huge dining table set. I mean, really huge and it could easily seat ten people if enough chairs were put around it. It came from my grandparents house and I can remember that table right from the time I had my first memory. So now we had it, and it always managed to find itself a spot even if the house we stayed in was small. Sometimes it was a pain to look at it, just because it always seemed like it belonged in a much bigger house with a lot more people. We still ate at that table every night. This is where I developed a liking to talking and catching up on the days events long after dinner was done and even as the food began to dry around our fingers. Somehow I always wished that this particular time of the day would last and never end. All this was years ago.

We eventually left home and went to college, left the country, moved to a new city and so on. Along with all these changes, I lost the habit of sitting around a dining table. Now dinner was always in front of the TV and sometimes alone. Even if there were people in the room, it felt like I was alone, because we all stared at the TV and did not talk. I missed the feeling of home. I missed the human connection. I missed scrapping off the the dry food around my fingers. No one to blame because where ever we lived as bachelors, investing in a dining table was the last of our priorities. Like all things that change, people began to get married and start families, and soon dining tables started to appear in every home. Hopefully it brought along the dry finger conversations too.

Recently my brother got married and as a part of setting up the house, we got a cute four seater circular dining table. I made sure this one fit perfectly. A few weeks ago, we sat down for our first meal around it. My mother made us promise that we would not have dinner in front of the TV, and I see why. It did not strike me much but after the first meal, as we sat around a little longer, I felt the food around my fingers drying up. That same familiar feeling I had missed so much. It was all coming back again. Yes, it felt like home once more.

Thanks To The Sena

It feels as if we are gearing up for war that seems inevitable. There is something in the air that smells not quite right. Who knows what's going to happen on Feb 14th, but hey, I have no reason to be scared. Thanks to Mutalik (you jerk) and the Sri Ram Sena, I can now sleep in peace without any terrible nightmares.

Thanks to them, my "culture" is now safe. No western force can influence me and I can be assured that my culture will not disappear like the dodo did. Just imagine, if not for them, you and I would be a culture less lot.

I support their move to shut down all pubs. Since all acts of terrorism in this country are committed by people like you and me who walk out of pubs, I will feel a lot safer once the pubs are shut. Yes, fosters and kingfisher can bring out the Bin Laden in you and me. Coming to think of it, Vijay Mallya, with his control of alcohol, must be the evil mind behind the plot to turn our nation into a terrorist state. Oh and his team, the Bangalore Royal Challengers are really his suicide squad.

Women should most definitely not wear noodle straps. Mutalik (you jerk) and the Sena considers this as one of the most dangerous weapons. The straps can be detached, and it can be used to choke a person and it can even be used as a sling. Remember the sling shot story of David and Goliath? Now when a lot of women have access to these dangerous noodle straps, I am so grateful to the Sena for rightfully opposing it and even more, demanding a ban on noodle straps.

Forget straps. Women should not even go to pubs. What right do they have to do that? Don't we know that only men have a right to drink? Don't we know that a woman's place is in the kitchen and if she steps out, she should be beaten and sent back to where she belongs? What better way to save this country and it's rich culture. I am sure that as a generation we would be so grateful to Mutalik (you jerk) for safeguarding our women by molesting and beating the crap out of them.

Now coming to Valentines day, according to Mutalik (you jerk), this is the day when girls and boys gather together, and this is when the sex and drugs mafia influence them. Also, it could be a western ploy to completely destroy our culture. Yea sure. We all wait for Feb 14th to have sex and take drugs, cause that's the only day it is possible. Didn't you know that the drug mafia remains inactive for 364 days? So does the sex mafia. They wake up and strike with great force on Feb 14th, and hence, I agree with Mutalik (you jerk) when he says that boys and girls should not be together.

A wedding is a costly affair these days. I think I would be doing a great favor to my parents if I could manage to get the Sena to marry me off for free. Yes, all you unmarried folks should probably be out on the streets with the one you hope to marry. Remember to hold hands, but keep those dangerous noodle straps away. If the Sena are to be trusted, be assured that you would be married off immediately. For free. How cool is that?

Anyways, I got one question for Mutalik (you jerk). Have you ever got laid? If not, maybe you should, because honest to God, I don't see any other cure for your disease.