We all fight or have conflicts. As long as two living being exist in the same environment, conflict will co-exist. In one of my previous posts I had mentioned that, from a very psychological and theoretical angle, "conflict is growth trying to happen". I agree. Through the fights and arguments, there is so much you learn about the other person and provided you are open minded, you even develop some level of tolerance. So, through conflicts you grow and you grow, but all said and done, every now and then you wish you would grow a little less.Especially with couples, a lot of people get very stressed at the slightest conflict. If there is a fight, the individuals spend sleepless nights until it is resolved. I used to believe in this but not anymore and a lot of people still vouch for the fact that no conflict should be left unresolved by the time the sun goes down. It might work for some, but for me, NO. I have let a few sunsets go by before anything has been resolved. A few days of no communication is a good break indeed, but then again, that's my perspective and what works for me.
With marriage, my lifestyle has changed to a great degree. Expected of course. Going to bed around 3am or 4am does not seem practical now, so 12am it is, maximum. So this is where conflict comes in and gives me a chance to revisit my glory days. During a conflict, I treat myself by staying up as late as I want to, and watch anything I want to on TV, without a fight for the remote. I get to watch all IPL matches without interruption. During the world cup, as fate would have it, we fought exactly on the days when India was playing. I took it as a blessing and watched all of India's games. Contrary to popular belief, I sleep best when we fight.
In all fairness, let me clarify that I do not go looking for conflicts nor do I instigate it for my benefit. Sometimes it just happens and it is beyond your control. So when it finally does happen, quit whining about it and think of it as a holiday, a time to break all the rules. A few pretty sunsets later, you are all ready to make up, and you're off again, on your beautiful journey together.
Happy fighting...!!
6 wise sayings:
Thumb rule for succesful marriage is : NEVER GO TO BED WITHOUT RESOLVING A CONFLICT.
Argument is a sign of emotional involvement and that is a positive sign.
Erich Segal in "Doctors"
@grey
disagree..!!!
@JAVA
very true..just as any other natural emotion we express
First reaction: Bah!
Second reaction: Subconscious mind brews conflicts when India match on? ( Just thinking aloud!)
Third reaction: Disagree with thumb rule and agree with a few nights of having the bed to your self.... :)))
"watch anything I want to on TV" It is interesting though, how the TV somehow comes in whenever couples seem to have fights. TVs make a very good tool to just look at and ignore anyone else who happens to be around! :) Just an observation.
I like the idea of not having to resolve a fight before sleeping. I must admit too that I can easily dose off without resolving a conflict as I feel two things just can't wait for anything else in the world: Sleep and Hunger. And there is the prospect of going to office and being unable to finish anything because we were awake trying to 'resolve' a conflict. Hell, I can't even think straight when I am too sleepy or hungry. :D
But my partner disagrees! :D :D :D
I dont think this is fair oku. Imagine you got in a fight and this time you know for sure that she was 90% wrong. But she takes the fight as a blessing.
Will you be ok with it???
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